Est. 2023 · Head-to-Head Points
The desk's narrative column, generated from pulled facts and labelled as such: recaps use final scores only; previews use roster values and Week 1 scores only. Nothing is quoted that was not said; no incident is invented.
The REAL Tribal Chief conquered Christ The King 1,383.5–1,261.0: the crown does not move on whispers, it moves on weeks like this.
BOOM! Shockalotta def. Team Ruah 1,477.5–1,466.0 — a statement scoreline, and the losing dressing room knows it.
3Zilla Squad over Team O'Connor, 1,537.0–1,427.5: the week's arithmetic, written in ink.
.... Rice and Beans conquered CKING 1,326.0–1,191.5: the crown does not move on whispers, it moves on weeks like this.
Team Pup n' Suds def. Glizzy Gobblers 1,426.0–1,398.0 — a statement scoreline, and the losing dressing room knows it.
Week 2 matchups are on the homepage scoreboard (in progress at the Oct 30 pull). By the numbers — the only preview the desk prints — each club's Week 1 score and roster value are on the Analytics Desk; the desk picks no winners.